A eulogy is a way for you to remember and honor a deceased loved one before they are laid to rest. It is often heartfelt and a way to reflect on who your loved one was during their life. However, writing a eulogy can seem very intimidating. You may struggle to know what stories to share, and depending on your emotional state, finding the right words might seem impossible. But if you break down how to write a eulogy in a few steps, the process can seem a lot less scary.
Before you start writing the eulogy, you’ll need to decide which stories and personal details you want to weave among the usual biographical information, such as when and where the deceased was born. You’ll want to have enough talking points to speak for at least three to five minutes, but 10 minutes is the maximum length for how long a eulogy should be at a funeral.
Speak with other family members to get a better idea of who your loved one was and to collect more stories you can share. Hearing more stories might help you develop a theme for the eulogy, such as the deceased’s kindness or sense of humor.
Remember to consider how much humor is appropriate for the eulogy. If the deceased lived a long and happy life, it might make sense to add more humor to the eulogy than if the deceased unexpectedly passed or was young.
After you have all your content planned, organize your ideas in a clear and logical manner.
Knowing how to start a eulogy can be the trickiest part of the process. The easiest way is to introduce yourself, share your relationship to the deceased, and acknowledge why everyone is gathered.
List biographical information in chronological order, starting with the birth of the deceased. Remember to mention other family members, including parents, siblings, spouses, children, and grandchildren, especially those in attendance.
People like to reminisce about their loved ones who have passed, so don’t be afraid to tell a few stories. Besides special memories, you can also talk about your loved one’s achievements, hobbies, and talents during this section of the eulogy — any qualities that made your loved one special.
A nice way to close your eulogy is by highlighting a lesson that your loved one taught you. You could even direct the end of the eulogy toward the deceased instead of the attendees to use the time to say your final goodbye.
After you’ve finished writing the eulogy, ask a family member to proofread your work to check for any inaccuracies and then practice reading the eulogy aloud so you feel more comfortable on the day of the funeral.
Some things are just better left unsaid in a eulogy. As a rule of thumb, if you wouldn’t have said it to the deceased’s face, then you shouldn’t say it at their funeral. Some other things to avoid mentioning in a eulogy include:
Your eulogy could look something like this:
We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of John Doe. John was my grandpa, and he was one of my best friends.
John was born on Jan. 1, 1945, in Capital City. His parents, Jane and Michael, had three kids, and John was the youngest. In 1968, he married his wife, Katherine. The two of them had four children and 13 grandchildren.
Grandpa John was an avid fisherman, and some of my best memories are with him on his dock. We spent every morning out there during the summer, reeling in fish and sharing laughs. I could talk to him about anything, and he gave the best advice.
During those hours on the dock, Grandpa taught me so much about life, but the biggest lessons I learned from him were to value patience and take life one moment at a time. I miss Grandpa John so much, but I know he’ll be with me every time I go out to the dock.
Writing a eulogy may not be the only difficult task you’ll need to complete. You may feel overwhelmed by the things that need to be done or be unaware of all the steps. That’s why Wellabe has created resources to help you during this difficult time:
It’s an important decision. Preplanning your funeral now, before the need arises, puts you in charge of how you will be remembered and ensures your funeral will be meaningful for your loved ones.
While no one wants to think about their own death or planning a funeral, being well prepared and creating an advance funeral plan may bring peace of mind to you and your family. Advance funeral planning allows you time to understand the process, helps you make clear choices that are right for you, and alleviates financial and emotional burdens for your family during a difficult time.
The best way to guarantee your wishes will be followed is to prearrange your end-of-life plans. You can outline every detail in advance, so your loved ones won’t need to wonder what kind of service you want or whether you desire a burial or cremation. You can also alleviate the financial burden on your family by setting up a Preneed Funeral insurance plan.
Preneed insurance is used to fund a funeral service agreement between you and a funeral home. You decide every element you want included in your funeral service, which includes everything from the casket or urn to transportation for the family. The funeral home partner totals the costs, and that amount is the basis for your Preneed insurance plan. You can either pay the amount in one installment or through monthly premiums. Upon your death, the funds are used to pay the funeral home for your funeral.
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Search for grief support resources, such as in-person groups, online forums, and phone hotlines, available in your area.
Wellabe offers life and supplemental health insurance plans to help you prepare for good days and bad. We’ll always be here to empower you to be well — well prepared, well protected, and well loved.
Kelly Rayburn, AVP national sales and distribution at Wellabe, and Olga Villaverde, from Lifetime TV’s The Balancing Act, explain the importance of preplanning your funeral. While a difficult subject, advance planning can alleviate financial and emotional burdens for your family members.
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